White Meat

White Meat was the name of my first proper band. This is not intended to speak ill of my high school “band” Hollow Pumpernickel, my conceptual hard rock band Hinge, or that one day in 1996 that I was the bassist for the metal band Level.

We were an acoustic comedy duo, formed in 1999, our first album dropped in January 2000.

(speaking of 1999, here’s our MySpace page)

Our original name was The Other White Meat (hilarious, we know). We changed it when we recorded OL&D to avoid potential copyright infringement.

Old Ladies & Dogs (2000)

  1. Matt’s Song
  2. Save the People
  3. Prostitute Grandmas
  4. Iraqi Girl
  5. Shiv-Time
  6. Advice Song #1
  7. Crazy Man
  8. Smoove
  9. Bluegrass Dream
  10. El Extrano (The Stranger)
  11. Advice Song #2
  12. Time
  13. Love Song #1
  14. Countryman’s Lament
  15. Advice Song #3
  16. Look on the Floor
  17. Magic Baby Highway

We were pretty well-liked in college, where we started playing as an opening act for other shows, and shoehorning ourselves into variety acts

  • Opening for Allegation
  • The Apollo-Style Talent Show
  • Jamaica Mission Trip Benefit Concert

After our undergraduate years, we started playing open-mic nights around Pittsburgh, and got involved with the comedy/radio scene

  • Look on the Floor on the B-94 Morning Show with John Dave Bubba Shelley Brian & Amy
  • The X Backyard Barbecue with Alan Cox (radio personality)
  • Theme Song for The Alan Cox Radio Show

Then I quit my dayjob (technically, it was a night job since I was in grad school during the day) and spent my nights finishing and mastering our second album:

Don’t Tell Our Mothers We Made This Album (2004)

  1. Donut Love
  2. Gerard Depardieu
  3. The Fat Guy Just Got Off The Bus
  4. F*** your P****
  5. time-out
  6. King of the Hockey Dads
  7. Always Wipe
  8. Tribute To The Guy With No Arms And No Legs
  9. I Wish I Drove A Passat
  10. Charles Bronson’s Gay Driving School
  11. intermission
  12. A Pretty Song
  13. (Stop Being A) Cocksucker
  14. The Kenny Loggins Song
  15. halftime
  16. Smile
  17. Love Song #2